Remember how last year Ricky Gervais hosted the show, and cracked all kinds of jokes that made The Famous in the audience extremely uncomfortable? Well somebody has a bad memory or never learns a lesson, because he was back this year and snarkier than ever! I laughed. I admit it. I cringed at the same time. He's so greasy, so offensive, and so funny. He and Russell Brand should be in a movie together.
I wonder if they'll have him back next year...
I love awards shows because of the clothes.
It's funny to look at people stuck in the background. The Non-famous. The people wearing passes around their necks. Who is Sofia Vergara waving at? Hi!
I love this particular awards show because it's TV and movies, all mixed together. Most of all, everybody has to wiggle between the tables to get to the stage, and I'm always afraid there will be some kind of tripping and falling accident. However, I'd love to see how that gets handled. What happens if a star spills a drink on her dress? I think of these things.
But nothing bizarre happened. We didn't even see any truly bizarre clothes. The anticipation is worth it though.
A whole bunch of TV shows that I have never watched got awards.
Now let's see some clothes!
First, Christina Hendricks, whose show (Mad Men) I've never seen although I hear I should, but I don't think I get that channel, therefore I have no idea if she's a good actor or not, but still I kind of like her. She's different. She doesn't look all toothpicky. I like her name. Sometimes she looks just a teensy little bit crazy.
Wow. An hourglass. Erupting? Volcano dress? What if she wants to look over her left shoulder? I don't get it. But it's very RED and I appreciate the boldness it takes to wear red.
Coincidentally, her co-star January Jones also wore red. I like her name too but more in an oddball kind of way. I also do not get her dress. At all.
I don't know man, I just think a couple strips of ribbon can't be called a "dress." However, I will award her with the official Immature Golden Globes Snickering Boob Joke.
This is how it's done, ladies. I mean if you've got it. Which I don't, but she does, and she knows what to do.
Love the hair, love the dress, love the attitude! Love Sofia Vergara on Modern Family! Hey! A TV show I actually watch.
Red, red, red!
And almost red. Remember "Married With Children?" You watched it, c'mon and admit it. Katey "Peg Bundy" Sagal took a trophy looking fan-frickin-tastic. I like long sleeves. Everybody else looks freezing cold in comparison, you know?
Cute Moment: when her name was called, the camera cut to Ed "Al Bundy" O'Neil, who grinned and beamed at his former co-star.
This now concludes the red dress collection.
Christian Bale, aka Batman, accepted an award looking like Jesus. I'm not kidding. Jesus in a tux. He's got shoulder length hair and a full gingery beard and moustache. I like long hair, I like beards (most of the time) and I like Jesus so I was fine with this look.
We rarely get to hear his real accent. He's Welsh. He just plays Americans. Cuz he's an actor. And he wins awards for it.
Steve Buscemi won an award too. My kids know him as Norther Winslow from Big Fish. He slips into the role of Creepy Guy so easily and so brilliantly. He is actually a nice guy who just plays creepy guys. See? ACTING.
Man, I really don't watch much TV.
In a Moment I particularly love, Geoffrey Rush and Tilda Swinton presented an award.
I think he's fantastic - I've seen him in quite a few movies - and although I only know her as the White Witch in that first Narnia movie, I find her fascinating. In a weird kind of way. She wears strange things, like this outfit, which appears to be a white shirt and pale boring satin skirt, but then looked like the two pieces were sewn together. She's super tall, extremely white, doesn't wear much make up, and usually slicks back her short hair... she kind of looks like a statue. She looks like David Bowie. She looks like an alien. She is so different. Dude, she winked at the photographers!
What will she do next????
And speaking of unpredictable: Our boy Johnny Depp sat in the audience, chewing gum nervously and trying not to look like he couldn't wait to bolt. I feel sorry for the guy. He loves making movies, but I get a strong feeling he doesn't like this part of his job.
He looked gorgeous though.
I love it how he's wearing a very elegant tux but then Depps it up with the wallet chain and the straggly hair and moustache. Screwing the rules of formal wear! yeah!
You know how Johnny was nominated twice in the same category? He didn't win. (I suspect he was relieved.) Paul Giamatti won, and I dig him, in a schlubby kind of way. (Watch American Splendor.) Of course I thought it was sweet that he thanked the Great Nation Of Canada. Give that guy a beer!
Hey- a surprise I can't find a picture of - The Biebs presented and his hair... it was NOT A COMBOVER! The kid has eyebrows! There is hope yet people. There is hope.
The other popular colour was red's opposite: green! First good example is Catherine Zeta Jones.
So the dress, gorgeous, yeah of course, but even better - her husband is ALIVE!! Thin, pale, but he's up and at it. He successfully survived cancer treatment! Yay! We got a Real Meaningful Moment when he got to the stage to an audience standing and clapping, and Michael Douglas humbly said, "There's gotta be an easier way to get a standing ovation."
More green: Brangie. Well technically, Angelina, since Brad was wearing a tux and honestly, looking super skeevy. I'm not kidding.
Sigh. Every year there has to be a Slicked Back Greasy Dude. This year, it was Brad. He amped it up by wearing shades as well. Oh Brad. Geez.
As much as it's cool to see Angelina wearing something other than black (I think she looks good in black and I get it that it makes getting dressed waaay easier) I gotta say... I don't like this dress.
Sorry Brad I cannot get with the thumbs up on this one. (Please wash your hair.)
It looks itchy. You know? I hate itchy fabric! It's a nice green, and it's cool that she's wearing long sleeves when so many others are half nekkid. But, itchy. That's all I can think about.
Also, and this really bothers me... she has no bum. How does she sit? What is it like to go through life with no bum? She's just too thin.
They were hilarious during the show. First she was fixing his bow tie. Awww. Then she was leaning on his shoulder. Mostly she looked very distracted. After coming back from commercial we caught her fixing her lipstick. Awkward Moment! Why did I think that was awesome? Of course she wears lipstick. It was just, this final primping and quickly putting it away like we shouldn't see that. Hee hee!
With all the red and green, only one woman was bold enough to do BOTH. Helena Bonham Carter.
THE SHOES. Look at the shoes. Also the hair, the incredibly busy dress. Wow. The shoes. Pretty much everybody else on the internet says it's all hideous, but you know what? I love it. On anybody else it would just be ridiculous, but she has the personality to carry it off.
There were a few pink dresses too.
Let's have a look at winner Claire Danes. I think she looked great!
I love the colour, and she has the shoulders for it.
More importantly, she was part of The Best Moment Of The Evening. Claire's win was for portraying Temple Grandin in a TV movie, and Temple herself was there. The two shared a big hug before Claire got to the stage. That's so cool. Temple was wearing a cowboy shirt, like she always does, and their respect for each other was obvious. I loved that.
This is kind of over the top. I'd wear it! Not with the train though. I didn't even have that on my wedding dress. How do these women navigate with dresses like this?
Natalie Portman and her unborn child wore a really pretty pale pink dress with a big red sequinned rose up front.
I like this. I like red and pink together. The rose; it kind of reminded me of Valentine's day cards made with handfuls of glitter and white glue. I'm not sure if that's good or not. But I like the dress and she looks great!
The Social Network was the night's big winner, and I doubt I'll ever see it. I'm sick of Facebook, I'm not a computer nerd, and I just don't care. This movie is a sausage fest. Computer Geek sausage fest. Can't relate.
Anne Hathaway will be co-hosting the Oscars. Good thing it's a month away because it could take a while to get out of this heaavvvy dress.