Welcome everybody! Hunker down with your popcorn and whatever refreshing beverage you've chosen, and enjoy the show!
Lots of stuff happened in 2007 but really, over here in this neck of the woods it's all about what entertained us. Let's take a look...and hand out some MAJOR AWARDS!!
THE "BEST MOST PERFECT ALBUM OF THE YEAR" AWARD goes to...
RAISING SAND by Robert Plant and Alison Kraus.
HAVE I EVER MENTIONED THAT I LOVE ROBERT PLANT?
I glorified this collaboration recently and I'll tell anybody who'll listen how awesome it is.
Watch the video- lots of long blonde hair, big grins, and T Bone Burnett rockin out! I think I need to borrow her dress and boots for my next big real life awards show.
THE "I LOVED IT BUT JETHRO THOUGHT IT SHOULD SOUND BETTER" AWARD goes to...
The White Stripes, Icky Thump.
Jethro was disappointed in the sound of the record. He has really high standards, is consistently disappointed by what's hitting the air and the store shelves, and has always trusted our man Jack White to make a good sounding record for him. He took it pretty hard. Digs the songs though. Me, I still love Jack White. Pretty much unconditionally.
THE "NOT JUST FOR MALLPUNKS, MOMMY LOVES IT TOO" AWARD goes to...
FAMOUS LAST WORDS by Hedley.
The song in this here video also qualifies this band for THE "I CAN'T BELIEVE I LIKE THIS BALLAD" AWARD. Good job, boys!!
THE "BEST COUNTRY SONG" as well as JETHRO'S "HOT IN A CRAZY SCORNED ANGRY CHICK KIND OF WAY" AWARD goes to...
I don't generally condone violence against pickup trucks. Jethro doesn't usually dig blondes. But hot damn.
And now, THE "GOOD THING WE ALL STILL LIKE EACH OTHER" AWARD will be shared by the following acts, because this was a huge year for REUNION TOURS!!
The Police got back together!
I didn't see it. I am so ashamed of myself for not even catching the Grammy Awards this year. Shame.
Van Halen got back together!
Well, sort of. Michael Anthony split, and without him...I mean, he's so underrated! When I want my Van Halen, I want the crashing cymbals, I want the shredding brownsound guitar, and the arrogant, tongue-in-cheek borderline comedic frontman...and I want the rock solid bass and sweet background harmonies! I miss Mike. I have no doubt young Wolfgang can do the job- he grew up with it after all- but you know, Edward has been known to fire bandmates...although he has kept his brother around for over twenty years...
Regardless, I didn't see anything on YouTube worth sharing. I refuse to post a link because why should all of our hearts be broken? I'd rather put on my Van Halen II cassette and be happy. For what it's worth, Diamond Dave was short haired, high foreheaded, white toothed, leather clad, and awesome. Gotta have a bright point here.
Rage Against The Machine got back together!
I didn't see it. I would have loved to. I would have taken the kids too. Except for the crowds and all that, y'know. But seriously. Rage. They are just as relevant now as they were 10-15 years ago.
So I wasn't there, but from what I dug up on the intermittent net, they were awesome. TimCom with his terrifying tattoos and massive arms, Fender P-Bass up under his pits! Crazy Zack with his afro! Morello arming the homeless with mystifying moves and his guitar jammed up even higher under his pits! Cute little Brad Wilk behind the kit keeping the whole thing on track!
I hope there's a DVD coming. I can only hope.
And the really big news...
Led Zeppelin got back together.
Sort of. As much as physically possible without the late great John Bonham.
I wasn't there.
Don't even get me started. I couldn't go. Even if I could have, I couldn't have. I might have spontaneously combusted. Or exploded. Or imploded. Dangerous. Better to stay home and imagine what could have been. Trust me.
The next day, our YouTube search had Jethro and me alternately groaning and shivering at the magnificence of the Best Band In The World Ever...even if the Bonzo was the Junior version.
Here...complete with the big screen and feedback squeals...
It's as close as some of us will ever get.
Even with some dooooode hollerin along with it, all captured on somebody's crappy little cellphone, you get how awesome this must have been...
And like I said I wasn't there. In my dreams.
THE "JUSTIN HAWKINS FALSETTO" AWARD goes to the young chap who's also the recipient of the 'THERE WILL ONLY EVER BE ONE FREDDY MERCURY BUT SOMETIMES WE GET A LIVE ONE" AWARD:
Now you all know I pretty much live under a rock. Who is this person??? Where did he come from? Lebanon? Paris? London? All of the above? I don't normally listen to pop but this catchy tune has a vocal that slapped me upside the head. Kaching is right, baby!
I read a lot this past year. I read for education- to see what's being published these days- and I read for the pure joy of it. There were a lot of good books in 2007.
THE "BOOK THAT BLEW MY MIND" AWARD goes to...
ANTHEM OF A RELUCTANT PROPHET by Joanne Proulx.
Oh looky here, a video...
A 17 year old smart mouth slacker with too much smarts for his own good suffers from death premonitions and missing girl posters while skateboarding around his nasty little town. Blood, death, religion, sex, White Stripes and Red Hot Chili Peppers. All the good stuff.
THE "BEAUTIFUL EXPERIENCE" AWARD goes to...THE INVENTION OF HUGO CABRET by Brian Selznick.
THE "BEST KID BOOK THAT ANYBODY WITH A TWISTED SENSE OF HUMOUR CAN LOVE" AWARD goes to...
ALEX AND THE IRONIC GENTLEMAN by Adrienne Kress!
It's freaky deaky cheeky fun with healthy dash of darkness....that agreeable combination that a parent and kids can all enjoy together!
THE "MEMOIR THAT COULD CHANGE THE WORLD" AWARD goes to
PRISONER OF TEHRAN by Marina Nemat
Honestly I was afraid to read this book. She was imprisoned as a teenager and tortured. I am so glad I read it though, because ultimately it is a story of hope. It's the story of a fierce independence that will not be silenced. It's about peace. Read it.
THE "PARANORMAL ROMANCE, VAMPIRE WEREWOLF LOVE TRIANGLE" AWARD goes to...
ECLIPSE by Stephenie Meyer.
Are you kidding me? Edward may be physically perfect, educated, elegant, intelligent, freakishly strong, gentlemanly, musically talented, did I mention physically perfect- male model- gorgeous? But, like, cold, dude, and control freak much? Like, I'd totally take the ginormous 6' 7" brown skinned, black haired, funny, daredevil, sweetheart innocent minded hot skinned puppy dog native kid from the reservation up the road, any day. Did I mention 107 degrees hot? Literally, Jacob Black is hot. Bella is, like, such a drip. Can't stand the sight of blood and she's gonna marry a vampire. Duh. I cannot wait to see what Jacob's gonna do in the next book!!!!
THE "BITTERSWEET IT'S OVER" AWARD goes to...
HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS by JK Rowling. Call me sappy but I cried all the way through it. Yeah, it really frustrated me in places. But where it excelled, it was amazing. Dobby, Snape, the Weasleys. Was the epilogue cheesy? Yeah. But look at it this way: after all the drama, a dash of peaceful normality was kinda nice.
THE "HEARTWARMING UPLIFTING TRAGICOMEDY TRIUMPH" AWARD goes to...
LOTTERY by Patricia Wood.
A) No matter who you are, you should read this book. B) Who do you consider a hero? C) Who are your real friends and family? D) Does money really matter? E) Does intelligence really matter? F) These characters are gems.
THE "DAMAGED HERO" AWARD goes to...
UNDERCOVER PROTECTOR by Molly O'Keefe. I don't actually read much romance, but if you want to learn how to put together a plot, I suggest checking it out. A romantic hero has to have some emotional flaw that gives our heroine a challenge, but this hero is damaged physically as well. He's also charming, funny, and complex- everything to make a reader cheer for him. Plus, this is one gritty little story.
THE "LAUGH, CRY AND FEEL GOOD BY THE END" AWARD goes to...
THE PENNY TREE by Holly Kennedy. I don't want to say too much about the plot because I don't want to give it away! I will say that the heroine's strange predicament- an anonymous admirer posts ads in the paper looking for her- adds up to some comedic moments, culminating in a surprise twist and yes, a couple of nose tingly teary moments. She's good that way.
THE "I ONLY GO SEE ESCAPIST FANTASY AT THE MOVIE THEATRE" AWARD goes to...
THE "MICHELLE PFEIFFER ROCKS AND I WANT A GOAT CHARIOT" AWARD goes to...
THE "GREAT VISUALS, THOSE KIDS ARE REALLY GROWING UP, AND ALAN RICKMAN RULES" AWARD goes to...
Harry Potter And The Order of the Phoenix
THE "CONVOLUTED SWAGGERING RIDICULONG" AWARD, THE "I DON'T CARE I STILL LOVE IT" AWARD, AND THE "JOHNNY DEPP COULD READ THE PHONE BOOK AND I'D WATCH" AWARD goes to...
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
It is also the recipient of THE "I LOVE BRITISH MEN" AWARD (well that's obvious) as well as THE "I LOVE AUSTRALIAN MEN" AWARD
THE "KEEF IS WICKED COOL" AWARD
THE "EYE CANDY BEST PRESENTED COVERED IN GRIME" AWARD
as well as THE "SERIES OF AWESOME LINES AND GREAT SCENES HELD TOGETHER BY A MOSTLY CRAP MOVIE" AWARD.
Oh and I almost forgot- THE "DAMN YOU, SHE SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN HER OWN SHIP, SHE'S THE BIGGEST PIRATE OF EM ALL" AWARD. In other words, don't stick around for the epilogue after the credits.
Oh I almost forgot to forget- THE "JERRY BRUCKSPLOSION PYRO AWARD FOR EXCELLENCE IN BLOWING S*** UP" AWARD! That pretty much goes without saying, really.
THE "WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME THAT I MISSED THIS" AWARD goes to...
There was a BRAD PITT COWBOY MOVIE and I did not see it.
Seriously, what was I thinking????
The scenery looks so bleak and beautiful. Never mind that I pretty much know how the story ends...
THE "BEST MOVIE OF 2007 THAT I HAVEN'T SEEN" AWARD goes to...
Sweeney Todd. It showed up here just a week before the year ended...and I haven't been able to get out of the house to see it. Damn you, music industry! Let Jethro go! Unshackle him! I don't want to go see it alone because it's all, like, scary and stuff. Bloooooody! But so stylin...
But you know how I feel about Tim Burton. You know this. All the still shots are gorgeous- dark, shadowed, with a palette of black and grey and crimson. Just beautiful. Some of my favourite actors are in this film! Johnny! Helena! Alan Rickman!!!
I have to sweet talk somebody into seeing this movie with me!
Best of all, high point of my year, favourite award here...
THE "RECORDING ENGINEER OF THE YEAR/ GUY I LOVE THE MOST IN THE WHOLE WORLD" AWARD goes to...
My one n only.
It's been a good year. Hang on tight for 2008!