SAG Awards! C'mon, say it with me, it's fun!

I think the Screen Actors Guild Awards are the weirdest, nuttiest show out there.  First of all, obviously, the acronym.  SAG.  Duh.  It's like a big sign at the entrance: ALL OBSERVERS MUST MAKE JOKES.  Also?  For the introduction, in which the camera showed different people proclaiming "My name is Blah Blah and I am an actor" the mouth and words were out of sync!  We got shots of the backs of people's heads, and some awkward Teleprompter reading.  It just looked sloppy.  Plus the music was awful, but at least some nice union musicians got a gig out of it and I'm all for gigging.

All of that haphazard presentation makes me smile.  I like it when I'm not the only one who can't get the act together!

Best reason why the SAG awards are awesome, other than boob jokes?  The actual award itself! Himself?  There he is, holding his tragedy and comedy masks, with no mouth in his face but quite anatomically accurate.  How can we not crack jokes???  Especially when Betty White runs her hand over the little butt on the dude!?

The award is a little nekkid dude!!!  I saw a clip the next day of James Franco walking past a larger than life statue and patting its bum.  Man, I would totally do that.

I won't bore you with the details concerning who actually won awards.  Basically, Betty White is hilarious and that's the most important thing, really.

She deserved to go home with a nekkid dude!  Even if he is only 11 inches tall! Hey,  she's 89 years old.  And her comedic timing is right on.  And she has pretty silver hair.

Other most important thing?  WHAT WERE PEOPLE WEARING???

RED!

Valerie Bertinelli,  looking fantastic. 

My husband had such a crush on her when he was a kid and she was Barbara Cooper.  

And on that topic, here's another lady my husband totally digs: Tina Fey, the chick smart guys crush on.  

Hey, you know last year when I used to call this lady "Eva Longoria Sickofher" instead of Eva Longoria Parker?  Well I did.  She was ubiquitous. On TV, in make up ads, on awards shows, just everywhere, and then being seen with her skeevy basketball player husband.  She found out he was cheating and BOOM he's outta there.  No sobbing interviews or drama, just kicked that loser to the curb, dropped his last name and friggin' got on with it.  Quite triumphantly. And elegantly.

Which is great!  But I don't like this dress.  It makes her look like he waist is at her knees, and that's weird in an unfortunate way instead of a fun way.

But I'm not sick of her anymore.  

I've been told I look like Hilary Swank.  I think it's the toothy grin.  

She looks nice, but kind of...pale?  Flesh coloured?  Hmmmm.

This is the perfect example for young teen girls:  be like Hailee Steinfeld instead of... well, any child star desperate to grow up and shed the kid image by wearing really skanky clothes and getting all messed up/ drunk in public.  And Miss Hailee, stay real!!!! 

How cute is this dress?  It's fun and youthful without screaming "Jailbait!!!" Finally somebody's stylist has gotten a clue!

Ah, one of my favourites.  Helena Bonham Carter, she who wore different coloured shoes to the Golden Globes, and who often shows up wearing layers of gauzy silliness and a hairdo that looks like a grown out shrub - and I mean all of that in the coolest way possible.  I love it that she isn't afraid to stand out.  

And I think she looks really pretty here.

Which is easy because she is pretty.

Check out this saucy face.  Of course she's saucy; she's British.

She's standing around with her sunglasses in her hand, like she just stopped by while driving over to the whatever to pick up a thing.  Cooool.

So, I like this dress.  A lot.  I'd wear it, in a parallel universe.

On those extremely rare occasions requiring me to dress up, I often plan to look somewhat like cute little Mila Kunis here.  Things go off the rails with me, so it's good that the real Mila has it all together.  Thanks, girlfriend.  

Natalie Portman showed off her baby bump and some people thought it was too much information.

I thought she looked so great that I temporarily lost my marbles and thought how cool it would be to get pregnant again, and have a chance to show off my baby belly, but then I gave my head a shake and I'm really quite over the whole thing now. 

I'm not even sure who this chick is but she amuses me.  Check out the pose.  

Years worth of practicing in her bedroom mirror, I'm thinking.  People do straaaange things when confronted with a camera.  I know this from personal experience. 

I love everything about this picture.  Behold - Sofia Vergara, who is both gorgeous and funny.  Now, look behind her.  To the right, Lady Holding Papers.  She's probably in charge of telling people where to go.  To the left, Dude Taking Picture Of Sofia's Lovely Backside.  

She DID NOT win a SAG award, by the way.

See?  How can you not make boob jokes?  Oh come on, we all like boobs, it's okay.

On that note, sort of, I must report that Geoffrey Rush, whom I think is one of the Greats, said these should be called "The Uplifting Awards."  I don't think it was a boob joke.  I just liked it.

And finally, a girl I admired quite a bit in my youth, mostly because of Beetlejuice, and also because she's the reason Johnny Depp has a tattoo on his right upper arm that reads, "Wino Forever."

But Winona Ryder looks a little uncomfortable here.  Maybe even dazed or stunned.   She could have relaxed, because this look really worked out well, I think.

Maybe she's onto something.  Maybe it's best at times to just smile politely and keep your eyes open.  You just never know what's gonna go down at these events...

...and that's what I love about SHOWBIZ!

MONSTERS VS ALIENS

It's a real nod to the 50s monster movie flick, but all slicked up and polished for the new century. Have a seat and forget about all the modern threats of disaster.  Monsters!  Aliens!  In the same flick!   

The main reason we went to the theatre to see this movie is THE CAST.  Some of our favourites provide voices, and I'm sure, mannerisms to these characters.  Plus it's something we can all enjoy; with our kids outgrowing most of the G rated flicks, but me being quite squeamish about scary/ violent/ way too grownup movies, we're all happy with the PG rated comedies.  

This sucker is pretty darn funny.

It has the required action-chase stuff that kind of zones me out every time.  I tire easily of seeing buildings get destroyed and shoot-outs and crap.  However, there are some laugh out loud moments here to make it all worth it.

You don't need to know much going in.  The basic plot starter is a young woman's journey from agreeable bride to empowered woman.  Yup, that's what it is.  Kid you not.  Call it what you want, that's the core of it.  Mind you, being a woman of rather small stature, I couldn't help but chafe that in order to gain her power she's gotta be like, 40 feet tall and super strong.  Yeah yeah, symbolism, whatevs.  Seriously.  It's still all about physical strength.  Blah.

Also, why in 2009 do we still have to be going on about how a girl doesn't have to marry a doofus and do whatever he wants to do?  Duh.  Okay I'm over it now.  

On with the FUNNY!

It's no secret that I adore Rainn Wilson.  We all do.  He's SO good in this character that I forgot it was him.  As the evil alien overlord GALLAXHAR, there is no trace of his dorky Dwight Schrute.  Just pure self centred, power hungry would-be dictator of the universe!

This guy has one of the best voices in the biz these days.  Love his voice.  Watch for the part where GALLAXHAR tells his life story while taking a turn in the cloning machine.  That was awesome, I mean it, I'd watch that ten times in a row if I could.

Ask anybody who sees it who their favourite character is and I bet they'd say B.O.B.

Seth Rogen amps up the adorable for this one.  And, his timing is perfect.  

Reese Witherspoon is tiny and blonde.  Ginormica is giant and shaped like a Barbie doll.  Oddly enough it works. 

Hugh Laurie as Dr Cockroach, PhD.   I really am not familiar with this guy because I've never watched his big TV show, but you know what?
This is the first Cockroach, EVER, who has not sent me into fits of shivering disgust.  I actually quite liked him!

Ah... Will Arnett.  I love that guy.  Who better than to play the Missing Link, that slimy arrogant creature?  
On top of that, Stephen Colbert as the clueless, Reagan-haired, finger-cannon-throwing President, and Kiefer Sutherland as General W.R. Monger (geddit???).  Watch the credits at the end, because there are more.  Hint: keep your eye on "Katie and Cuthbert" on their date.  

One of the big deals about this movie is that supposedly you can see it in 3-D.  I can't figure out why you'd bother.  We saw it without the hassle of the funny glasses, and I thought it was 3-D enough.  Maybe I'm wrong and the technology has improved even in the last couple of years, but in general I find that it makes my eyes go squirrelly and I can't keep watching.  As it is, the movie looks very layered.  In fact, for the first five minutes I kept thinking, "Oh, where the guy points at something... that'd be where it jumps out at us.  Got it.  Next."  

Often I was amazed at the visuals.  The detail is incredible.   I mean, LOOK at this.  

Every cloud, every leaf, every blade of grass.  It's hyper-real.  Except for Ginormica's waist... I think they could have made that a little more real.  Just sayin.