Heidi the Hick hands out the 2010 Awards!

Yeah I know, 2010 was over almost two weeks ago, and I have plenty of good excuses why this is so late, but they're boring, so let's get the fun going and HAND OUT SOME AWARDS!

BEST USE OF JOHNNY DEPP IN A MOVIE:

ALICE IN WONDERLAND

Almost unrecognizable, totally unsexy (unless you're into this kind of thing, hey I won't judge) and really defining the classical use of the word "mad," Johnny is a delight!

A disturbing delight.  A possibly frightening, most likely unpredictable delight.

And really, this is why he's my favourite.  He's not afraid to do this, and he throws himself right into it.  I mean seriously, is this nightmare inducing or hilarious?  BOTH!

MOST IGNORED USE OF JOHNNY DEPP IN A MOVIE

THE TOURIST

He looks gorgeous in this flick.  The fake beard is kind of fun.  Yeah it's fake; when have you ever seen him as himself with that much carefully manscaped facial hair?  Also: am I the only one who obsesses about details like beards and moustaches and silver hairs???

Anyways... I couldn't tell from the trailers if it was a thriller, a black comedy or a romance.  All of the above?  The scenery looks really nice...

It's not that I didn't want to go see it, it's just that December is not a good time of year for me to go gallivanting to the movie theatre, but having said that I don't really gallivant very often, so um, sorry Johnny.  I didn't see your movie.  I'll catch it on video!!

Dude, nice jammies!

BEST TANK STUNT

Okay, think it over.  TANK STUNT.

I don't care if it's impossible, alright?  Tank stunt, people.  

Also, Bradley Cooper has pretty blue eyes.

Hey, help me out here: was the original van from the show a Ford?  It's a badass GMC this time around.  This movie totally ignited my craving to have a full size van with a fully shag carpeted interior.  

THE "TOM FRIGGIN CRUISE DOES ALL HIS OWN STUNTS" AWARD

GOES TO TOM CRUISE!!!

How funny is this still shot?  

I took my younguns to see this.  I couldn't tell you what the heck it's about... just lots of chase scenes and  explosions.  The kids loved it, because, you know, TOM FRIGGIN CRUISE.  He does all his own stunts you know. 

It was fun, despite all the gun shooting and crap.   I'm not crazy about shooting scenes.  But oh man, the three of us roared with laughter when ALL the black clad Bad Guys fell to their deaths, fatally wounded from one well-aimed shot.  Classic!

I wish they would have done more with Cameron Diaz.  She played a chick who restores muscle cars, but we only saw the '66 GTO maybe three times.  Rip off!  It irritated me that she spent most of the movie getting drugged or being knocked unconscious. This is Cameron Diaz... doesn't she do All Her Own Stunts too?  

There are so many behind the scenes pictures like this on the internet.  Know why?  CUZ HE DOES ALL HIS OWN STUNTS!

(Nice boots, Cam!)

MOST AWESOME SUPERVILLAIN COMEDY

DESPICABLE ME!

Loved it!  Love the politically incorrect, vaguely accented villain.

Love the three kids.

Love the minions.  Don't even know what the heck they are, but they're funny.

Love the nerdy up-coming villain.  Groovy pad, dude.

Adored Kyle the vicious dog. 

Watch it and have a laugh.

MOST INCREDIBLE TRILOGY/ BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR AWARD

Believe all the praise you hear about The Hunger Games Trilogy.  It is well written, intense, gripping, frightening, and will make you think about the world we live in.  

I warn you: be prepared to read all three.  

It is the rare story that grabbed me, then my 16 year old daughter, then my 14 year old son.  Worth the money to buy all three of the books.  

BEST FAMILY DRAMA, NOVEL CATEGORY

SOME KIND OF NORMAL by Heidi Willis was technically published at the end of 2009, but I read it in 2010 and it's my blog so I say it counts.  

Mostly I'm putting it here because I love this story.

I've bought it twice to give away as a gift.  That's how much I love it.  

BEST SERIES WRITTEN BY A GUY I KNOW IN REAL LIFE!

The DREAMCAST series by Paul Telegdi.  

I knew about this guy's skill at storytelling, as I'd read a few of his books already.  For these stories, he goes in a different direction: Young man discovers psychic abilities (very unpleasantly) and feels compelled to stop violent criminals.  

Here's his website!

BEST DEPRAVED ROCK STAR AUTOBIOGRAPHY

It's the book I'm reading at the time I'm writing this report.  Yep, got it for Christmas!  Enjoying it, cos it's bluddy grawer up yer muvvah fargggher!  Larf larf larf!  Izzex endrugs en rogckenroll, man!

Of course, I award Keef's book, but I haven't read I AM OZZY yet...!

THE ACTOR CAREER SWITCH NOVEL AWARD

After reading an excerpt, I asked for it for a gift.  So let's see, Steve Martin is: a wild and crazy guy, a grammy winning banjo player, an actor and a pretty darn good writer.  

BEST BAND YOU NEED TO FIND OUT ABOUT AWARD

You know when you have a friend who's in a band, and you know he's a good musician, but you're deathly afraid that his band might not be very good so you're nervous to go see them?  And you know that feeling of relief when you find out the whole band are good musicians, they totally have their s*** together, and put on a rocking live show?  Oh, and then your elation when you get their album in your hands, and the packaging is gorgeous, and the songs are excellent and it ROCKS?!

THAT.

(To be honest, I totally expected this to be awesome, and it is.)

THE "COMEBACK? HE NEVER WENT AWAY" AWARD 

ROBERT PLANT!

He went back to Nashville and made a record, called BAND OF JOY with a whole new set of musicians.  It's kind of a bluegrass meets folk meets early Golden-God-Rock.  Right? Wonderful.

But maybe don't trust my opinion.  I'm totally biased.  I love the man.  If he sang the phone book I'd swoon.  

Oh, you gnarly old lion. I am still in love with yoooooooooo!

I don't care if you're the same age as my mother!  

My love doesn't lead to the freeway and I don't care what the neighbours say.

This concludes Heidi the Hick's 2010 Awards.

Hey, started the awards with Johnny Depp and finished with Robert Plant.  

Maybe 2010 wasn't so bad after all!

LOTTERY by Patricia Wood

I should have told you about this book two months ago when I read it! Why am I so behind????

I think you should read this. I don't care who you are- read this special gem of a book. It's a great concept, well written, will make you laugh out loud and weep like you don't care who's watching, and most of all, will make you really care about the characters in the story!






The official blurb: "Perry’s IQ is only 76, but he’s not stupid. His grandmother taught him everything he needs to know to survive: She taught him to write things down so he won’t forget them. She taught him to play the lottery every week. And, most important, she taught him whom to trust. When Gram dies, Perry is left orphaned and bereft at the age of thirty-one. Then his weekly Washington State Lottery ticket wins him 12 million dollars, and he finds he has more family than he knows what to do with..."

The triumphant accomplishment here is the VOICE. You are getting this story through the experience of Perry L Crandall, and you will never doubt him for a second. The author, Patricia Wood, is a 50 year old woman who lives on a boat in Hawaii, has been in the army, is a PhD student, professional horsewoman, and generally sharp perky person! Imagine how she got so perfectly into the skin of this character, who insists that he is not retarded. He's slow, but not retarded. There is a difference, and by the end of this book, you'll know it.

It ends up being a study in human behaviour- both the best and the worst. I gobbled it up and couldn't put it down. Highly recommended!

Here's the blog

And here's the website!

Why a 36 year old woman is reading teen fiction...

I JUDGE BOOKS BY THEIR COVERS. There. I said it. How could I walk past any of these in a library or a store and not want to read them?






There's more to it than that, though. Being the mother of a 13 year old girl, I want to know what my kid is reading. Even more than that, as a writer who hopes to publish a peer to these three books, I need to what's out there.

Above all, there is some excellent stuff out there. You should never let the "Young Adult" label scare you away. Many of these books are proving to be crossover successes, and some are shelved in two sections. Why wouldn't you read Young Adult fiction even if you're over 21? You were once a kid, were you not?

Earlier this summer I read THE POSSIBILITY OF FIREFLIES by Dominique Paul.


I was drawn to it because it's set in 1987, which was a very good year for me, and because the main character's love interest is a fledgling rock star. Well here's the catch- and you know there must always be a catch because otherwise there's no reason to read- Ellie is a 14 year old kid who keeps getting locked out of the house because Mom's out partying...and Leo is TWENTY.

Yep. Ick factor. I had to know how this was all going to play out.

This is a beautifully written story. The author got the details right and created a few characters that will feel instantly familiar. The hero of the story does prove to be a hero, but that's all I'll say.

What I loved about this book was the sense of hopefulness. Even though this kid is in a neglectful and mentally abusive situation, she never gives up.

What I didn't love about this book was the incredible sense of self awareness. Ellie is almost believable as an extremely sensitive and intelligent girl, but I couldn't help but feel, as a chick who was there, doing that, at that time, that the awareness was filtered through a mind that has had time to look back.

One other thing sort of bugged me. I couldn't figure out exactly why the story was set in 1987. The parties and rock stars? Because it was a good year for hair metal? Because it was exactly twenty years before the publication of the book? Because the author was a kid then? I suspected that this may have been a partially autobiographical story, especially after reading the acknowledgments. This worries me. I have a nice little raw novel waiting to be seen, and it is not an autobiography. I made it up. It's fiction. However, we, as readers, always want to associate the writer with the written. I was doing that as I read this book. I want to think that an author knows, from experience, exactly what she is talking about, because it makes the fictional story more believable. However, I don't want a thinly disguised version of what really happened. I suspected that Dominique Paul changed the names and called it a story...and I fear that it'll be suspected of me too.

This was a valuable lesson for me as a writer. I have to tell a new story, not my own. I can use my own story for a starting block but it can't be my life (and it isn't.) Most of all, because I set mine in a similar time period, I have to make sure it's for a reason. If there's no significance to that date, it might as well be set in the present. (There are reasons for setting it in the 80s, besides just liking the tunes of the time!)

I'm willing to forgive it, because it's a good solid little book. Despite the nasty life situation that our heroine is in, it's a sweet story. Ellie is likeable, and by the end, you'll be cheering for her to overcome her troubles. I even squeezed out a few sobs for her. You're gonna be okay, Ellie!!!


A little internet digging told me that Dominique Paul, who is a screenwriter, will be directing the feature film. How's that for a first time novelist? I think it'll make an excellent movie. The things that bugged me won't show up. Only the triumphant story will come through. Mothers who partied like rock stars twenty years ago can take their daughters to see it. Whether they sit together or not will be entirely up to them...




Soon after, I read EXIT HERE by Jason Myers.


Again, the author claims to have lived the life and knew guys like the main character. The author lived to tell about it, which is more than can be said for a few of the kids in the story.

This is an absolutely harrowing story. Every one of the college age characters is shallow, self centred, materialistic, and rude. They live by their cell phones. They lie to each other. Their friendships are based on who's got the best drugs and whose pants are most likely to come off. I couldn't help but wonder....is this really what it's like to be a young urban American today?

I have to say, this book never breaks character. The voice of Travis is believable because it is unwavering. He and all of his friends are consistently unlikeable. In fact, they are all so shallow, they all sound alike.

Many times I closed the book and considered not opening it again. But I did. I kept on reading. I had to know what drove Travis, and would he decide to leave the hollow life of partying and drugging and hooking up? I had to know what the deal was with his ex-girlfriend. I had to know what the hell happened in Hawaii.

Jason Myers wisely dropped little clues into the story. It seemed to be nothing more than a diary of endless clubs and bathrooms and living rooms and text messages, but the mystery catches up with the reader almost unaware. And then you're caught and you have to know.

My picky picky problem is that by halfway in, I got sick of the constant band references. It got to sounding like the author wanted to name drop every band he's heard of in the last five years. However, it made sense. It suited the vibe of the story and most of all, suited the personalities involved. It's all about who you know.

The ending is basically the only one it could be. It is not happy. But it's the only outcome it could have. If you're looking for a gritty story, and you've got a strong stomache, read this.

The best one of the bunch was not even shelved in the Young Adult section of the bookstore. ANTHEM OF A RELUCTANT PROPHET by Joanne Proulx is one of the best books I've read this year. And, the cover is just gorgeous. This little photo doesn't show the details so you'll have to trust me on it. I'm including it in the list of teen fiction because I do think there are teenagers that are ready for a book this heavy.


I couldn't find a flaw in this novel. The voice is perfect, the hero is typical teenage sarcasm on the outside and accurate sensitivity on the inside. The cultural details are right. This book touches on death, love, fear, religion, sexuality, drugs, alienation, identity.

There is some imagery in this book that could break your heart. I wept several times. Not that weeping is the criteria for a good novel, or even that it's hard to squeeze tears out of me, but honestly, parts of this book are painfully beautiful. That's it's told from the point of view of a 17 year old boy makes it more touching.

But here's the thing- it's funny. Luke says one thing while thinking another and it's like comedic subtitles flashing in front of your eyes.


Joanne Proulx has taken a highly unlikely premise- a kid has death premonitions- and makes it totally believable. It's because of the perfect voice of Luke Hunter, the classic smart kid posing as a slacker in order to ease his overworking mind.

It's a painful subject. The death of a friend has a horrible impact on these kids, especially on the one who casually predicted it.

Again, here I am associating the writer and the written...but it must be said that this book, told in first person by a teenage boy, was written by an adult woman. And she got it. She totally nailed it. I've never been a teenage boy myself, but I believed every word.

I highly recommend this book. (and not just because I'm supporting my fellow Canadians!)


All three of these are debut novels. And each author thanked their agent...

THE TIN BOX and THE PENNY TREE by Holly Kennedy

If you're looking for something good to read this summer, let me point you to Holly Kennedy. I'm a little biased because I read Holly's blog regularly, and I like her. But that's beside the point: these are two good solid novels with stories that will pull you in and keep your lamp on after it gets dark outside!

The Tin Box is especially memorable for a very unlikely hero. Like the heroine, Kenly, you will find yourself falling for the physically flawed but funny and sensitive Tommy. It's a story about friendship, loyalty, secrets, and love that lasts. I won't tell you any more because I want you to just go read it. Support the author and buy the book so she can afford to keep writing more! (Besides, if you've ever wanted to build a treehouse, you should read this book!) Warning: you will cry when you read this book. It's okay. It's a good cry.

The Penny Tree is a quicker paced story with humour and a surprising twist! The heroine in this story has a pile of overwhelming problems, which would be difficult enough, until a mysterious admirer starts placing ads in the paper with the intent of finding her. Now on top of a divorce, two sons, a crappy job and a worrisome mother, she's got national media attention to deal with.

I've been reading with an eye for learning how a book works, as well as just for the pure love of reading. I learned a few things about how to pace a story, how much detail to give out at a time, and how to write a happy ending without beating the reader over the head with happiness.

Pop one of these into your bag for your vacation reading. You can thank me later.

Hello Groin by Beth Goobie

An author with the name of Beth Goobie has written a book called Hello Groin and it’s about a 16 year old girl struggling with her carefully hidden suspected homosexuality. This has got to take guts. Oh, and also, it’s set in the Canadian province of Saskatchewan. Yeah. Gutsy.

GUTS kept coming up in my mind as I read it. It’s such a visceral, gut wrenching, blushing, chest thumping, crotch tingling, heart breaking book.

Some of the images are very vivid. However, some of the words in between the vivid imagery are slightly awkward, as some images are repeated too much. I’d have to say that’s my only complaint about this book.

Dylan is a popular athletic and good looking 16 year old girl with a best friend whom she treasures and a boyfriend whom she adores. Problem is, she’s not turned on by Cam. She’s getting lustful feelings for Jocelyn, and she can’t figure out if those feelings are mutual. She’s very confused.

At first, as Dylan is trying to figure out if she’s gay or not, and realizing that she can’t pretend that she’s not anymore, I couldn’t quite figure out why it was a big deal. I hoped that a kid can come out these days without being beaten up or horribly ostracized.

Maybe we’ll never get to that point in our society. These 21st century kids still have a problem with it...and all for their own quiet reasons.

Dylan simply doesn’t want to be gay. She wants to feel lust for the boy she loves. She wants to find herself ten years later married to him and maybe with a child. She wants to be in love with a husband like the relationship her parents have. For her, it doesn’t matter what society accepts, or what it scorns. It’s a limitation she’s put on herself.

This is the tension in the novel. She doesn’t want to hurt her boyfriend...but she is in love with best friend Jocelyn. As events unfold, she fears she could lose them both.

The author got the teenaged mindset right. These kids are ruled by their peers, by sex, or the lack of, by the struggle between authority and rebellion, but unruly hormones, and by their brains, rapidly expanding with knowledge. They tell each other what books are changing their lives and what music defines them.

The character of Dylan would be pleased that this book is not just about sexuality; it’s about justice and honour and censorship. It’s about free speech and respect.

I particularly appreciated the way all the characters have changed and developed by the end of the book. Nobody is the same by the end.

I decided to read this book for several reasons:
-I’m writing a book about teenagers.
-I’m considering this publisher for a query when I’m done.
-I have such mixed feelings about that title that I just had to read the whole book.

Overall the tricky subject matter is handled sensitively, there isn’t too much offensive cussing, and despite the constant mental ruminations, the turmoil in Dylan’s head, the story clips along at a good pace, making us feel like the book was a good way to spend a few hours.

It isn’t the absolute best book I’ve ever read, but it’s pretty darn good. I recommend it to any young people, not just those facing a similar struggle. With it being so teen centred, I don’t know if many adults would be interested in it, although I found it to be a good read.

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time by Mark Haddon

I am embarrassed that it took me four years to get my eyes on this book. Now that I’ve read it, I can say that yes, it was worthy of all the hype. It actually crossed over from the Young Adult category and repackages as commercial fiction. It may be about a teenage boy but it’s so interesting that a wide audience can appreciate it. It’s no wonder it’s become a huge crossover success since it’s publication in 2003.

Our odd hero, Christopher, is autistic, although now that I’ve read it I can’t remember if it’s ever stated so plainly. He’s brilliant with numbers and science, but can’t understand facial expressions. Facts give him comfort, jokes confuse him. He does not want surprises but instead takes comfort in schedules.




He sees absolutely everything in every detail and that’s why sometimes when he’s overwhelmed, which is often, he has to shut his eyes and groan to block everything out. The colours yellow and brown almost make him physically ill, and he’ll scream if he’s touched. He doesn’t cry when other people do. But he does like dogs.

Now imagine how things go when he discovers the body of his neighbour’s dog when he’s out on a night walk, and decides to solve the mystery of Who Killed Wellington.



He’s going to write a book, and not one of those novels with things called metaphors which make no sense. He’s going to write a book about the facts of his detecting.


His detective work uncovers some very unexpected facts and ends up taking him on a journey that he never would have taken before the Incident.


The amazing thing about this book is that Christopher’s voice is captured so perfectly. This book never breaks character! We really are inside his head.




It’s so realistically written that even while one part of you is thinking how irritating it must be to have to deal with a kid like him, you’re feeling an affection for his total honesty, and you’re really cheering for him.

Suddenly it’s perfectly understandable that you’d have times when you must tune a radio between stations and hold it up to your ear to drown out all the stimulation in the world. And of course you would scream if another human touched you. Clearly it would be better to live in a world where nobody said silly things that required no answer, and nobody ever looked at each other’s faces.



In fact, being someone who struggles with anxiety disorder, I had a very hard time reading about Christopher’s lone trip on the Brit rail. I really felt his pain. It made we wish that I was good at complex mathematical equations as a way of calming myself...





It may have been written for a teen audience, but anybody can read it, appreciate it, and maybe even get a better understanding of how a difficult young man’s mind works. Mark Haddon completely deserves the praise he got for this book.

I highly recommend a read of it and I give it FIVE OUT OF FIVE JOHN DEERE TRACTORS.